Post by bobbo428 on Oct 9, 2014 23:03:28 GMT -5
HOT 100 CHART CRITIQUE 10-18-2014--THE TOP 40
I’ve been wanting to do this for a while—critique a chart with current hits. Rather than endure four hours of the Ryan Seacrest countdown, I decided to sample the songs on the current top 40 of the Hot 100. I’ll try to do this every few months. I thought about posting in “Chart Critiques,” but I figured that that thread is for classic countdowns only.
40 JEALOUS-NICK JONAS
Tuneful song about being in love with an attractive girl
39 WAVES-MR. PROBZ
Enjoyable dance-pop tune with an autumnal sound and early-‘90s feel
38 0 TO 100-THE CATCH UP-DRAKE
Standard hip-hop trash—macho garbage
37 AMNESIA-5 SECONDS OF SUMMER
Emo-sounding commercial pop tune tailor-made for the iPhone generation—around 1977, there was an AOR hit called “Amnesia,” by Pousette-Dart Band.
36 THIS IS HOW WE DO-KATY PERRY
Shallow commercial pop tune with a fake ‘90s sound—this song has not done too well on the pop chart.
35 PROBLEM-ARIANA GRANDE FEATURING IGGY AZALEA
The annoying rap destroyed what would have been a passable song—Grande does have a good voice.
34 2 ON-TINASHE FEATURING SCHOOLBOY Q
Standard hip-hop pop fare—I’ll pass on this one
33 HAPPY-PHARRELL WILLIAMS
Enjoyable, retro-sounding tune with a 1970s flavor to it—it sounds like a 1990s R&B tune that was reviving the ‘70s.
32 BLAME-CALVIN HARRIA FEATURING JOHN NEWMAN
Tuneful techno-dance record with early-‘90s club feel
31 FIREBALL-PITBULL FEATURING JOHN RYAN
Another song that melodically sounds like early-‘90s dance with some allusions to 1970s catch phrases, but thematically, it is standard 2010s tripe
30 FANCY-IGGY AZALEA FEATURING CHARLI XCX
No, just no—like fingernails on the chalkboard and glorifies debauchery—in early 1970, there was a much better song called “Fancy,” by Bobbie Gentry.
29 NEW FLAME-CHRIS BROWN FEATURING USHER AND RICK ROSS
Sounds like a 2000s R&B song—Brown has a good voice, and he sounds more mature lyrically than in his 2000s hits.
28 DIRT-FLORIDA GEORGIA LINE
Standard modern country-pop fare with a tidy, preprogrammed, formulaic feel
27 ALL OF ME-JOHN LEGEND
Sincere if bland piano ballad was his pop breakthrough—he deserved the breakthrough, but I wish it could have been with “Ordinary People”, “Save Room,” or “Made to Love” (a track on his latest album)
26 LIFESTYLE-RICH GANG FEATURING YOUNG THUG AND RICH HOMIE QUAN
Oppressive, arrogant gangsta rap swill—we’ve had to deal with this stuff on the Hot 100 for over 20 years
25 A SKY FULL OF STARS-COLDPLAY
Tailor-made for top-40 radio, this song didn’t do much for me.
24 SOMETHING IN THE WATER-CARRIE UNDERWOOD
Rock power ballad that showcases her evangelical leanings—could be a big one. I think that there was another song with this title that hit the country chart around 2003—I believe that it was by Pat Green.
23 TRUMPETS-JASON DERULO
I’ll take a pass on this annoying song—aargh!
22 AM I WRONG-NICO & VINZ
Summer-sounding guilty pleasure song had a strong hook; lyrics were self-affirming without being arrogant.
21 BAILANDO-ENRIQUE IGLESIAS
Suggestive hip-hop-oriented song that brings to mind the late-‘90s Latin pop phenomenon, plus the hip-hop pop of the mid-2000s.
20 BURNIN’ IT DOWN-JASON ALDEAN
Hip-hop pop tune marketed as “country”—more and more “country” songs are about sex rather than love. Nashville has hit a new low, as many songs seem to view women as sex objects.
19 COOL KIDS-ECHOSMITH
One of the best songs in the countdown, this is a song that all socially struggling teenagers can relate to (and I could have related to around 1978, when many of my classmates seemed to have it made, while I was struggling. This has a strong hook.
18 MAPS-MAROON 5
Yet another suggestive tune, this does have a hook.
17 DON’T-ED SHEERAN
Sex song with a summer feel, this is tailor-made for the Millennials.
16 BOOM CLAP-CHARLI XCX
Catchy yet suggestive (what else is new) pop song
15 CHANDELIER-SIA
This singer has good vocals, and this is well produced and sung. I wish she had broken through four years ago with her song “Clap Your Hands.”
14 RUDE-MAGIC!
Catchy reggae-tinged pop tune with a summery feel
13 STEAL MY GIRL-ONE DIRECTION
Bubblegum for the mid-2010s, this is a guilty pleasure for many.
12 HOT BOY-BOBBY SCHMURDA
Annoying, monotonous hip-hop tune that sounds like the worst of a decade ago
11 RATHER BE-CLEAN BANDIT FEATURING JESS GLYNNE
This has a strong hook and an early-90s dance club feel; I had hoped that it would make the top 10.
10 BREAK FREE-ARIANA GRANDE FEATURING ZEDD
Catchy techno dance tune that CHR loves; Ariana seems to be the “It” singer of ’14.
9 STAY WITH ME-SAM SMITH
Pop ballad with an autumnal feel to it; was a huge hit. The biggest hit with this title that I can think of is the Faces rocker from 1972.
8 ANIMALS-MAROON 5
Unqualified swill—“No, just no” is too much of a compliment! This seems to be a pro-rape song. Why is this evil garbage allowed to chart—of course, it soared 33-8.
7 DON’T TELL ‘EN-JEREMIH FEATURING YG
Pure swill!
6 HABITS (STAY HIGH)-TOVE LO
Mainstream pop rocker with an autumnal feel—lyrics are about being turning to drugs to get over a lover
5 ANACONDA-NICKI MIJAJ
No, just no—corporate hip hop swill—moronic
4 BANG BANG-JESSIE J, ARIANA GRAND AND (OF COURSE) NICKI MINAJ
Another example of hoe 2010s pop has a one-track mind—more loveless sex—too bad it isn’t a remake of the 1966 Cher hit or the 1992 David Sanbourn minor hit.
3 BLACK WIDOW-IGGY AZALEA FEATURING RITA ORA
Another obsessive sex song with a 2004 beat—boring and monotonous—also sacrilegious and oppressive
2 SHAKE IT OFF-TAYLOR SWIFT
This is lyrically decent and fairly catchy but a bit monotonous—average—like Deborah Gibson’s equally monotonous 1987 hit “Shake Your Love. However, this is fantastic compared to the oppressively sex-crazed tunes on the chart.
1 ALL ABOUT THAT BASS-MEGHAN TRAINOR
Catchy dance club song with a good, self-affirming message for girls and women that flies in the face of the Madison Avenue/MTV/Hollywood definition of beauty. Another recent song along the same lines is Beyonce’s “Pretty Hurts,” a 2013 song I had hoped would become a hit.
I’ve been wanting to do this for a while—critique a chart with current hits. Rather than endure four hours of the Ryan Seacrest countdown, I decided to sample the songs on the current top 40 of the Hot 100. I’ll try to do this every few months. I thought about posting in “Chart Critiques,” but I figured that that thread is for classic countdowns only.
40 JEALOUS-NICK JONAS
Tuneful song about being in love with an attractive girl
39 WAVES-MR. PROBZ
Enjoyable dance-pop tune with an autumnal sound and early-‘90s feel
38 0 TO 100-THE CATCH UP-DRAKE
Standard hip-hop trash—macho garbage
37 AMNESIA-5 SECONDS OF SUMMER
Emo-sounding commercial pop tune tailor-made for the iPhone generation—around 1977, there was an AOR hit called “Amnesia,” by Pousette-Dart Band.
36 THIS IS HOW WE DO-KATY PERRY
Shallow commercial pop tune with a fake ‘90s sound—this song has not done too well on the pop chart.
35 PROBLEM-ARIANA GRANDE FEATURING IGGY AZALEA
The annoying rap destroyed what would have been a passable song—Grande does have a good voice.
34 2 ON-TINASHE FEATURING SCHOOLBOY Q
Standard hip-hop pop fare—I’ll pass on this one
33 HAPPY-PHARRELL WILLIAMS
Enjoyable, retro-sounding tune with a 1970s flavor to it—it sounds like a 1990s R&B tune that was reviving the ‘70s.
32 BLAME-CALVIN HARRIA FEATURING JOHN NEWMAN
Tuneful techno-dance record with early-‘90s club feel
31 FIREBALL-PITBULL FEATURING JOHN RYAN
Another song that melodically sounds like early-‘90s dance with some allusions to 1970s catch phrases, but thematically, it is standard 2010s tripe
30 FANCY-IGGY AZALEA FEATURING CHARLI XCX
No, just no—like fingernails on the chalkboard and glorifies debauchery—in early 1970, there was a much better song called “Fancy,” by Bobbie Gentry.
29 NEW FLAME-CHRIS BROWN FEATURING USHER AND RICK ROSS
Sounds like a 2000s R&B song—Brown has a good voice, and he sounds more mature lyrically than in his 2000s hits.
28 DIRT-FLORIDA GEORGIA LINE
Standard modern country-pop fare with a tidy, preprogrammed, formulaic feel
27 ALL OF ME-JOHN LEGEND
Sincere if bland piano ballad was his pop breakthrough—he deserved the breakthrough, but I wish it could have been with “Ordinary People”, “Save Room,” or “Made to Love” (a track on his latest album)
26 LIFESTYLE-RICH GANG FEATURING YOUNG THUG AND RICH HOMIE QUAN
Oppressive, arrogant gangsta rap swill—we’ve had to deal with this stuff on the Hot 100 for over 20 years
25 A SKY FULL OF STARS-COLDPLAY
Tailor-made for top-40 radio, this song didn’t do much for me.
24 SOMETHING IN THE WATER-CARRIE UNDERWOOD
Rock power ballad that showcases her evangelical leanings—could be a big one. I think that there was another song with this title that hit the country chart around 2003—I believe that it was by Pat Green.
23 TRUMPETS-JASON DERULO
I’ll take a pass on this annoying song—aargh!
22 AM I WRONG-NICO & VINZ
Summer-sounding guilty pleasure song had a strong hook; lyrics were self-affirming without being arrogant.
21 BAILANDO-ENRIQUE IGLESIAS
Suggestive hip-hop-oriented song that brings to mind the late-‘90s Latin pop phenomenon, plus the hip-hop pop of the mid-2000s.
20 BURNIN’ IT DOWN-JASON ALDEAN
Hip-hop pop tune marketed as “country”—more and more “country” songs are about sex rather than love. Nashville has hit a new low, as many songs seem to view women as sex objects.
19 COOL KIDS-ECHOSMITH
One of the best songs in the countdown, this is a song that all socially struggling teenagers can relate to (and I could have related to around 1978, when many of my classmates seemed to have it made, while I was struggling. This has a strong hook.
18 MAPS-MAROON 5
Yet another suggestive tune, this does have a hook.
17 DON’T-ED SHEERAN
Sex song with a summer feel, this is tailor-made for the Millennials.
16 BOOM CLAP-CHARLI XCX
Catchy yet suggestive (what else is new) pop song
15 CHANDELIER-SIA
This singer has good vocals, and this is well produced and sung. I wish she had broken through four years ago with her song “Clap Your Hands.”
14 RUDE-MAGIC!
Catchy reggae-tinged pop tune with a summery feel
13 STEAL MY GIRL-ONE DIRECTION
Bubblegum for the mid-2010s, this is a guilty pleasure for many.
12 HOT BOY-BOBBY SCHMURDA
Annoying, monotonous hip-hop tune that sounds like the worst of a decade ago
11 RATHER BE-CLEAN BANDIT FEATURING JESS GLYNNE
This has a strong hook and an early-90s dance club feel; I had hoped that it would make the top 10.
10 BREAK FREE-ARIANA GRANDE FEATURING ZEDD
Catchy techno dance tune that CHR loves; Ariana seems to be the “It” singer of ’14.
9 STAY WITH ME-SAM SMITH
Pop ballad with an autumnal feel to it; was a huge hit. The biggest hit with this title that I can think of is the Faces rocker from 1972.
8 ANIMALS-MAROON 5
Unqualified swill—“No, just no” is too much of a compliment! This seems to be a pro-rape song. Why is this evil garbage allowed to chart—of course, it soared 33-8.
7 DON’T TELL ‘EN-JEREMIH FEATURING YG
Pure swill!
6 HABITS (STAY HIGH)-TOVE LO
Mainstream pop rocker with an autumnal feel—lyrics are about being turning to drugs to get over a lover
5 ANACONDA-NICKI MIJAJ
No, just no—corporate hip hop swill—moronic
4 BANG BANG-JESSIE J, ARIANA GRAND AND (OF COURSE) NICKI MINAJ
Another example of hoe 2010s pop has a one-track mind—more loveless sex—too bad it isn’t a remake of the 1966 Cher hit or the 1992 David Sanbourn minor hit.
3 BLACK WIDOW-IGGY AZALEA FEATURING RITA ORA
Another obsessive sex song with a 2004 beat—boring and monotonous—also sacrilegious and oppressive
2 SHAKE IT OFF-TAYLOR SWIFT
This is lyrically decent and fairly catchy but a bit monotonous—average—like Deborah Gibson’s equally monotonous 1987 hit “Shake Your Love. However, this is fantastic compared to the oppressively sex-crazed tunes on the chart.
1 ALL ABOUT THAT BASS-MEGHAN TRAINOR
Catchy dance club song with a good, self-affirming message for girls and women that flies in the face of the Madison Avenue/MTV/Hollywood definition of beauty. Another recent song along the same lines is Beyonce’s “Pretty Hurts,” a 2013 song I had hoped would become a hit.